Divorce is a rising problem, especially in recent years. What are the reasons why more and more people are ending their marriages? Unemployment, alcoholism, premature decisions, and impatience. Mostly, people don’t actually think about what could happen after their marriages have ended, and they imagine that everything will be okay.
A lot of couples don’t realize that marriage is a big responsibility, and that they should seriously consider making thoughtful and considerate decisions about marriage. The problem is that many people don’t have the stamina to deal with the challenges they face in their life, and some of them just give up at the beginning of these challenges.
Challenges test couples and can bring partners together or split them apart. After a couple overcomes difficulties together, they can live with terms of mutual understanding and trust. The divorce rate has been increasing in Mongolia, especially in Ulaanbaatar, for a decade.
According to reports from the National Statistical Office, the crude divorce rate (CDR), which is the number of divorces per 1,000 individuals, has steadily risen from 2001 to 2015. For example, let’s look at the ratio of marriages and divorces in Ulaanbaatar over the last three years,: 6,736 couples married and 2,054 couples divorced in 2013, so CDR was 1.5; 7,933 couples were married and 2,329 were divorced in 2014, and CDR was 1.7; and in 2015, 8,263 couples were married and 2,515 were divorced, and CDR was 1.8. According to reports from the United Nations Statistics Division (UNSD), Mongolia’s CDR rose from 1.1 in 2010 to 1.3 in 2014.
The UNSD carries out demographic surveys around the world. Some countries have seen fewer cases of divorce, but the UNSD’s data shows that many countries have seen dramatic increases like Mongolia has. I think that the way men don’t own up to their responsibilities to make a living has led to many failed marriages.
In general, women have more patience than men, and they weather a lot of difficulties by being patient and resilient. Many of them cannot see the results they expect from their efforts and grow disappointed, then they decide to divorce their husbands. Many Mongolian women shoulder the immense responsibilities of their families alone, and they carry the huge weight of feeding their children.
When they are asked what the biggest threat they face in life is, they say alcohol. Some young women get pregnant out of wedlock by men they don’t know well, or without considering if their boyfriends share their aspirations, desires, expectations, and dreams about life. After living together for a couple of years, they get bored with marriage, because they don’t have the same aspirations and their marriage can’t be worked out.
Alcohol abuse in low and middle-income Mongolian families has had a tremendous impact on marriages ending and domestic violence spurred by alcoholism. A woman living with domestic violence doesn’t have any choice but to escape her abuser. Unfortunately, thousands of children and women are affected by divorces of this nature and they are emotionally damaged for their entire life.
T.Jargalsaikhan, a prosecutor in the Khan-Uul District, said that 97 percent of domestic violence offenders in Mongolia are men. President Ts.Elbegdorj has put forward an amended version of the Law to Combat Domestic Violence and MPs are scheduled to be reviewing it soon.
A divorced woman who asked not to be named said, “Parliament approves a number of laws, but it is important for people to adhere to the law. I divorced my husband because of financial challenges. I think many couples break up because of financial difficulties. Everybody agrees that it has been hard for guys to find a job, so the state needs to focus more on creating jobs than it does on approving laws.”
A divorced man stated that looking for a job was very difficult in Ulaanbaatar, so he would hang out with his friends and drink when he felt down about being unemployed. His wife got mad at him whenever he was drunk, and then they broke up. Politicians talk about a number of projects that create small businesses and jobs, but there is no action taken. These are just political moves from election to election.
On the other hand, many Mongolian men don’t have the capability of offering employers qualified experience. Couples should understand that there are more important things in a marriage than love, and they need to know that the two pillars of a healthy marriage are openness and honesty.